Overcoming self-doubt and insecurity - how therapy builds lasting confidence
Self-doubt can feel like an unwelcome companion that shows up at the worst possible moments, before a big presentation, when considering a career change, or even in everyday interactions with colleagues and friends.
If you’ve ever questioned your abilities, worth, or decisions to the point where it holds you back, rest assured, you’re not alone! Understanding how to overcome self-doubt and overthinking is important so that you can unlock your full potential and live a more confident, fulfilling life.
Where self-doubt comes from
We’re not talking about the odd self-reflection or the kind of nerves that help you prepare and perform better. Self-doubt is that persistent voice that questions whether you’re capable, whether you’re good enough, whether you deserve good things. It’s the kind that actually holds you back from opportunities and relationships.
Picture this: a child grows up hearing “you’re not good enough” or “why can’t you be more like your sibling?” Fast forward 20 years, and those messages might still be there. They’ve become the voice in your head questioning whether you deserve that promotion or whether your partner really loves you.
Where does self-doubt come from? Right here. These life experiences don’t just fade away. They shape how you see yourself and show up in every part of your adult life.
Common causes of self-doubt
Beyond childhood experiences, several other factors feed into self-doubt.
Early childhood experiences
Criticism, unrealistic expectations, or lack of emotional support during formative years can create lasting insecurities.
Perfectionism
Setting impossibly high standards that are never quite met.
Comparison culture
Constantly measuring yourself against others, especially in the age of social media.
Past failures
Dwelling on previous setbacks instead of viewing them as learning opportunities.
Negative self-talk
An internal dialogue that reinforces limiting beliefs about your capabilities.
Self-doubt in the workplace
The professional environment can be the place where insecurity starts for a lot of people. Studies indicate that 85% of people admit they lack confidence in the workplace, leading them to avoid leadership roles and hesitate to speak up in meetings. This workplace self-doubt manifests in various ways:
- Hesitating to share ideas in meetings for fear of judgment
- Avoiding applying for promotions despite being qualified
- Overworking to compensate
- Difficulty accepting compliments or acknowledging accomplishments
- Imposter syndrome, feeling like a fraud even if you are competent
The consequences extend beyond personal discomfort. Self-doubt in the workplace can limit career advancement, prevent you from taking on challenging projects, and diminish job satisfaction.
How to overcome self-doubt and overthinking
Breaking free from self-doubt requires intentional strategies and often professional support. Here are evidence-based approaches:
Recognise and challenge negative thoughts
When you catch yourself thinking “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll probably fail,” pause and ask yourself: Is this thought based on facts or feelings? What evidence contradicts this belief? Would I say this to a friend in the same situation?
Practice self-compassion and celebrate progress
Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a close friend. Everyone makes mistakes and experiences setbacks. Keep track of your accomplishments, no matter how minor they seem, creating tangible evidence of your capabilities.
Stay present and seek support
Mental health professionals recommend focusing on the present moment rather than dwelling on past failures. Mindfulness practices help break the overthinking cycle. Connect with trusted friends, mentors, or colleagues who can offer perspective. Sometimes others can see our strengths more clearly than we can.
When self-doubt becomes overwhelming
Your inherent worth isn’t determined by your achievements, productivity, or how others perceive you. Building genuine self-worth means separating your identity from your performance, identifying your core values as an internal compass, and setting healthy boundaries that protect your time and energy.
Doubt and fear often work together, which can make you feel stuck. While self-doubt questions your capabilities, fear focuses on potential negative outcomes. The key isn’t eliminating fear but developing the confidence to act when it presents itself.
When self-doubt becomes so intense that it paralyses you, more intensive intervention may be necessary. Crippling self-doubt often coexists with anxiety or depression, creating a cycle that feels impossible to break alone.
Signs that self-doubt has become debilitating include:
- Avoiding opportunities or situations where you feel you are being evaluated
- Experiencing physical symptoms like panic attacks or insomnia related to self-doubt
- Isolating yourself from others due to fear of judgement
- Finding that negative self-talk dominates most of your inner dialogue
- Feeling unable to make decisions without excessive negative thoughts
If you’re experiencing these symptoms, it’s important to reach out for support. Contact us at Hargan Psychology to discuss how therapy can help, or if you need immediate support, organisations like Beyond Blue provide 24/7 support for anxiety and depression.
Can a confident person have anxiety?
Absolutely. Confidence and anxiety aren’t opposites. They can coexist. You can feel confident in your abilities and still experience anxiety about outcomes, social situations, or uncertainty.
Someone might be highly confident in their professional skills yet struggle with social anxiety. Another person might project confidence externally while battling internal doubt. The Black Dog Institute provides extensive resources on this complex relationship, helping to normalise the experience and reduce the shame often associated with anxiety.
The role of therapy in building confidence and overcoming self-doubt
Professional therapy offers structured, evidence-based approaches to addressing self-doubt and building lasting confidence. Unlike general advice or self-help books, individual therapy provides personalised strategies tailored to your specific experiences and challenges.
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) for self-doubt
Cognitive behavioural therapy is a popular therapeutic approach that specifically helps with self-doubt by teaching methods to challenge problematic thinking patterns, leading to improved mood and overall wellbeing. CBT helps you:
- Identify automatic negative thoughts that fuel self-doubt
- Examine the evidence for and against these thoughts
- Replace distorted thinking with more balanced, realistic perspectives
- Develop behavioural strategies to test your new beliefs
CBT has proven effective in treating anxiety and depression, which commonly contribute to self-doubt and diminished confidence. The Centre for Clinical Interventions in Western Australia offers free self-help resources based on CBT principles for issues including low self-esteem and perfectionism.
Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT)
Acceptance and commitment therapy encourages people to embrace their thoughts and feelings rather than fighting them, operating on the belief that accepting these challenges is more effective than attempting to eliminate them.
This approach shifts the focus from controlling internal experiences to taking values-based action despite discomfort.
ACT helps you:
- Develop psychological flexibility in the face of difficult emotions
- Clarify your personal values and what matters most to you
- Take committed action aligned with your values, even when self-doubt arises
- Reduce the struggle against uncomfortable thoughts and feelings
Psychodynamic approaches
For self-doubt that stems from early life or unresolved past experiences, psychodynamic therapy explores how childhood experiences shape current patterns. This deeper work helps you understand the origins of your insecurity and develop more secure ways of relating to yourself and others.
Why therapy works better than self-help alone
Self-help books and articles (like this one) can give you information, but therapy gives you something different: someone who can see your blind spots, hold you accountable, and tailor strategies to your specific situation.
A therapist spots patterns you’ve been living with for so long you don’t even notice them anymore. They also treat the other issues that often fuel self-doubt, like anxiety, depression, or past trauma.
Moving forward with confidence
Here’s the thing: even mental health professionals experience self-doubt. No one is immune to questioning themselves.
The difference isn’t in never having doubts. It’s in knowing how to work through them without letting them take over. Seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s recognising that we all need support sometimes.
If self-doubt has been holding you back from pursuing your goals, advancing in your career, or showing up fully in your relationships, professional support can make a real difference. Therapy isn’t just for crisis situations. It’s a proactive investment in your mental health and future.
It’s about removing the barriers that stop you from being yourself. With the right support, you’ll learn to understand your patterns, manage setbacks, take risks, and bounce back from mistakes.
This isn’t a quick fix. There will still be moments of uncertainty. But therapy gives you tools to navigate those moments without falling apart. Over time, these skills build on each other to create real, lasting change.
Ready to overcome self-doubt and build lasting confidence?
If you’re tired of self-doubt holding you back from reaching your full potential, professional support can help you develop the confidence and clarity you deserve.
Whether you’re dealing with workplace insecurity, overthinking decisions, or struggling with deep-rooted patterns of self-criticism, therapy offers evidence-based strategies tailored to your unique situation.
Contact Hargan today to schedule a consultation and take the first step towards a more confident, authentic version of yourself. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone.